Quite a few people knew I went to London for an interview to be part of an advisory board and they asked me how I did. I said I was terrible I didnt answer the questions at all well. I did not really prepare for it, maybe I should have done a bit more research. But how much experience do they want from people on such a panel? I thought they had said they were not expecting people who had national organisations experience.

I felt I really did not show that I had much to do with the disability community right now. So I am going to make an effort. I am not sure where I get to meet other disabled people. I tried to join something at the university but there do not seem to be much going on. When I was at the university at UT-Austin, the disability office had meetings to get to know other students with disabilities but where I am now, I get the impression that they are inundated by helping students about advice about grants, getting support etc. I am not really a student neither so they are not that inclined to answer my queries. Its experiences like these which makes me want to go into that field myself but I am not in that field - it seems like people who does this kind of jobs started off in social work - this is the type of experience that they want.

It seems like I should rethink what I want to do more of in the future and work towards it. However I think the people who are activist becomes political about it and professional. Very often I find I have so many windmills of my own to fight that I dont  want to know more...and then at times I get really passionate about it. However that is not true because it would be good to find someone to share it or a group. And I do not want to be pigeon holed so that all I do is involved in disability. It really is not an easy balance.

Maybe I should start my own.